Showing posts with label low-self-esteem-solutions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label low-self-esteem-solutions. Show all posts

Monday, March 28, 2011

Going For The First Kiss

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

Here is an important question I got the other day via email. (By the way, feel free to write me with your questions and testimonials!)

"Hi Guys

It's midnight on a rainy Monday in old London Town. I've just got back in from an evening out with a very attractive young lady and I'm a bit frustrated.

I met Cath last year on holiday. When we first met we quite fancied each other, but by the end of the holiday, for various reasons, we weren't seeing eye to eye. Relationship at this point was purely platonic.

We met up again and I ran several patterns from the Home Study Course(http://www.speedseduction.net/products/rj87.asp

At several points when she was in trance I leaned in and she responded very favorably by smiling and leaning in to me.

At the end of the evening I walked her back to her car, gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek and we agreed to meet again.

All well and good? If that's the case why do I feel like I managed to capture her imagination but didn't lead it very well?

It seems to be a bit of a theme with me at the moment. I go out, meet quite a few women, get into great conversations with them. Steer these towards SS themes but don't seem to be able lead them to places which let them feel interested or comfortable enough to want to go any further.

I sort of feel like I'm sooooo close. But not quite there? I'm managing to put myself in a scoring position, but can't quite create the opportunity to put the ball in the back of the net.

Suggestions, support and encouragement most welcome.

TR London, England"


Ok, TR. Good going, so far. You are using patterns and getting some strong, favorable responses.

Here is where you screwed it up:

YOU WAITED UNTIL THE END OF THE EVENING TO GO FOR THE KISS!

What is this stuff about waiting to walk her back to her car?

You have to learn to strike while the iron is hot.

If you see her leaning into you, that's a huge NON-VERBAL SIGNAL that is screaming out: KISS ME, STUPID!

The more important issue is, you seem to be putting Speed Seduction® through a dating framework.

What I mean by that is, even though you are using the patterns and getting great responses, you are still thinking in terms of traditional dating when it comes to making your move.

You are still thinking you have to wait til the end of the evening, etc etc.

Get that traditional "dating" programming out of your head.

When you capture and lead a woman's imagination and emotions, they will be ready for action, far more quickly than you would ever get through traditional dating.

Peace and piece,

RJ

P.S. Want to enjoy fantastic success with amazing women, without resorting to traditional dating, stupid "dating tips", trite "dating advice", canned "pick up lines" and the rest of that nonsense?

Get women hot for you, fast and easy, and leave traditional dating behind for good. Just go here:

http://www.speedseduction.net/products/rj87.asp


Meet women, anytime, anywhere and never worry about what to say. Check out the amazing Gold Walk Up DVD and learn the 4 approach positions that will have you easily approaching women any time and never have to think about what comes out of your mouth:

http://www.speedseduction.net/products/rj185.asp


This newsletter, and all of its contents are
copyright 2004, Ross Jeffries. However this
newsletter may be reprinted and re-used in
any format, without prior consent, provided
all content, including all links, are kept
intact, proper credit for authorship is given,
and the newsletter is given for free,
without charge.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Ouch, That Hurt

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

The other day, I was doing some fabulous Combat Conditioning exercises, as taught by the incredible Matt Furey.

Being a fairly sedentary (a big word that means lazy ass) person, having a quick, fun work-out that I can do that actually makes me functionally fit, really feels good.

But today, contrary to Matt's advice, I over did it a bit, and as a result, I'm pretty sore.

Now, what in the world does this have to do with pulling hot women?

Simply this; in the beginning, when starting something new, pace yourself.

Look, as a human, you can learn to do pretty much anything, IF you do things gradually.

Too many guys, when they order their Speed Seduction Home Study Course(http://www.speedseduction.net/products/rj87.asp) TRY to jump in and do the hardest stuff first.

For example, even if they haven't had a woman in a decade or even talked to one in the same length of time, they want to go right out, approach the hottest woman in town, and try to get her in the sack in a matter of minutes.

Now, far be it from me to discourage ambition, and using Speed Seduction® you can and will get these kind of results.

But my stronger suggestion is: start out slow. Take one or two basic concepts from the course, and apply them every day. Even if you only improve 1 percent a day, by the end of a couple of months, you'll be bouncing from girl to girl like a rabbit on a double frappucinno mocha latte, extra whip!

Anyway, if you want the power, confidence and charm to pick the women you choose, instead of relying on canned pick-up lines, trite dating tips and stupid dating advice, why don't you learn to throw dating away and get the women you want jumping on you before you even go out? Thousands of guys around the world are doing so right now, and the first step is going right here:

http://www.speedseduction.net/products/rj87.asp.

Piece and peace,

RJ


P.S. If you are already smoking the tuna like crazy with your Home Study Course, it's time to step up to the advanced leagues and get my most powerful of all seduction courses.

Just go here:

http://www.speedseduction.net/products/RJ172.asp

and check out my Secrets of Hyper-Response video/DVD series.


P.P.S. I'm not kidding. This one is NOT for beginners and you will not be allowed to order it unless you already own a Home Study Course.

http://www.speedseduction.net/products/RJ172.asp


This newsletter, and all of its contents are
copyright 2004, Ross Jeffries. However this
newsletter may be reprinted and re-used in
any format, without prior consent, provided
all content, including all links, are kept
intact, proper credit for authorship is given,
and the newsletter is given for free,
without charge.

Friday, March 18, 2011

200 Women In One Night!

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

Only one thing pleases me more to hear that a student is kicking ass and taking names.

What could please me more than that, you ask?

No, not the entire UCLA Women's Volleyball team suddenly deciding that hugging me nasty in the dark is an obsession they HAVE to fulfill (Although I do love the UCLA Women's Volleyball team!)

No, what pleases me most is hearing that a student is actually helping out a fellow student to get amazing results.

Look: when I think back to what an incredibly tongue-tied, nerve-wracked, chicken-chokin' loser I used to be with women, it makes me want to cry.

So, when a student gets marvelous results, and then helps another student achieve the same, well, I'm about as proud as a hillbilly daddy in a roomful of virgin 13 year olds!

So, imagine my good feelings when I got the following email:

Hi Ross,

I thought the story of what happened last night might be interesting for Some of you - especially the newer SS students.

After the London seminar the Irish lads decided that we should get together and start to really push these skills forward.

After a number of bars we were all off the mark and had already got some great responses. Things were off to a great start - the guys had gone from not being able to open, to using blurt-outs, intuitive openers, humorous approaches, and some great sincerity, which we learned from the Gold Walk Ups DVD http://www.speedseduction.net/products/rj185.asp

The more women that were opened, the further the old beliefs faded. THE WOMEN LOVED THESE CHARMING GUYS.


I helped one student, Dan, with some of the exercises on your Fear Into Charisma DVD

http://www.speedseduction.net/products/rj180.asp


Here is the REALLY INTERESTING THING - he got some great smiles, some kino from these women, and out of about 50 approached women, only 2 semi negative responses. The energy was grounded before going out, and his state, energy, and awareness were totally controlled and supercharged.

After this, women were approaching him, and there was no more fear of approaches - he hit the100 openers mark by the end of the night.

Then came Selig.

This guy was amazing, he really got into the ritual before hand, and we reversed some of the energy surrounding his former fear of clubs when we arrived at the place.

After a little while Selig had hit 60 approaches. At this stage there was no stopping him.

Selig had moved from being afraid to speak to women, to a guy who was magnetic, charming, intuitive, and dynamic in a little under 5 hours. He broke the 100 approaches mark by the end of the night.

I'm sure the guys will have their own stories to post in more detail, but suffice to say, approaches are no longer a problem.

John Stein - Cork, Ireland

John, what can I say? A huge "right on" for helping out
your fellow Speed Seduction ® students. May you always find women with warm hearts, firm bods, and lots of moist relief!

Peace and piece,

RJ

P.S. Want to overcome YOUR fear of approaching women and know the 4 different ways to meet them anytime, anywhere, and never worry about what to say? Then check out:

http://www.speedseduction.net/products/rj180.asp


and

http://www.speedseduction.net/products/rj185.asp

And let me know when you top meeting 100 women a night!


This newsletter, and all of its contents are
copyright 2004, Ross Jeffries. However this
newsletter may be reprinted and re-used in
any format, without prior consent, provided
all content, including all links, are kept
intact, proper credit for authorship is given,
and the newsletter is given for free,
without charge.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Getting Off Auto-Pilot And Becoming Super-Free And Aware!

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

As you know, the incredible, life-changing Speed Life seminar comes up in October/November in a very sunny place. (Yes, it really is as beautiful as all the pictures and yes, the pretty girls really DO love foreigners!)

Anyway, since these seminars promise to be almost overwhelming in the amount of personal improvement and personal influence methods and secrets, I wanted to give you the jump-start by giving you some drills you can get started on RIGHT NOW!

These aren't required.

But they will help you hit the ground running when you get here.

BTW, if you haven't booked a room and want some advice on that, call Yates: 1-903-482-1034)

Anyway, as I have said over and over, one of the major keys to living the life of your dreams is...

.......Recognizing and Getting Off Of Auto-Pilot!

Remember, most people are walking around IN TRANCE. And even more importantly, the trances they walk around in...trances of fear..of limitation...of doubt of lack....

..............Really Do Not Serve Them!

Actually, these trances DO serve someone. They serve the "power structure" that profits and feeds off of a society of weak, programmed, obedient and fearful robots, who will look to the "authorities" on how to live an "ok" life.

Getting Off Of Autopilot..Now..Today!

One of the big pieces of getting off of autopilot and having real choice, is becoming aware of your fixed patterns of perception, response, action, etc.

To develop this "meta" awareness is a powerful tool to peel away old, trapped ways of thinking, acting and responding and believing. It makes it MUCH easier to move up ANY learning curve for any skill set.

You see, technical skill IS important. But many people offer fairly good models for technical skill(how to sell, how to seduce, how to get fit, etc) in different areas of life, yet few people get real changes or the huge leaps they want from following this advice.

Sometimes, the advice is lacking(as is the case with my rip-off, cheap-jack, bullshit imitators and "competitors")

But just as often, even with good "advice" and good model for new technical skills, the person trying to follow this advice has a bigger problem: they want to really change an area of life that has been deeply emotionally challenging, evoking lots of fear, self-doubt, personal limits etc.

What can often happen is that the new advice, new skills, new ways of thinking, feeling, acting and believing are filtered THROUGH the old emotions, experiences, beliefs, etc


This means that people seldom consistently will act out the new skills from the right frame of mind. They will be fighting themselves, their old habits, tendencies, etc.

A metaphor I use is, if I give you a pair of glasses dipped in dog shit, EVERYTHING WILL LOOK BROWN. That is why methods that assist in building clear, unfettered awareness can help us keep old responses, beliefs, behaviors, choices at bay and "in the freezer" LONG enough for new way to take hold, and long enough for us to move up new learning curves because we can see the new skills, beliefs, responses THROUGH CLEAR EYES

This is doubly necessary when the new ways are very different from the old ways and require major shifts. Remember, the further something stands from how you are used to acting, thinking, feeling and believing, the greater the chance for HUGE leaps. Also, the greater the chance for old ways to leap back up, unless you have a practice and discipline to deal with them.

I'll say that again: practice and discipline. Onward... Anything you do to bring your habitual patterns into your awareness(without anger, fear or reaction) is useful. This is why I am challenging you to go from one extreme to another and to pay attention to flows of feeling that trigger all of it; the awareness of feeling flow is key to knowing when you are slipping into old patterns of behavior and is also key to designing in NEW ones!

How To Use Breath And Energy To Immediately Set You Free!

Does this make sense? Now, here is the next exercise to do: As you know, I talk alot about a spot on the body located about 2-3 inches below the navel, between the navel and the public bone. If you've studied any martial arts, occult or "esoteric" disciplines, this spot is called different names: the kanda, the t'an t'ien, the hara, etc. Without getting into intricate explanations, you just need to view it as a major power center in the body and a major awareness center as well. So....stand upright. Feet planted about 2 feet apart. Take a deep inhale, and as you do, imagine the breath is moving in a soft line of energy feeling down the front of your body and swirling in the t'an t'ien. It doesn't matter if it is clockwise or counter-clockwise. Find out which works best for you.

Exhale by pulling your belly toward your spine and as you do, send strong line of energy from the small of your back up the center of your spine, out through the top of your head.

(By the way, you can go to the website and see a free video that will show you exactly how to do this...

http://www.speedseduction.net/resources.asp

Click that link. Scroll down the page to the second to the last video. You will see me demonstrating this with myself and teaching it to a student.

And if you want to learn more about doing this, I highly recommend my Fear Into Charisma video/DVD. Just click here to find out more:

http://www.speedseduction.net/products/rj180.asp)

Onward

Do this breath about ten times. Now..as you go through your day, whenever you talk to people, focus on that inhale going to the hara, and put your focus and awareness there as you feel the energy swirl. You don't need to work about the exhale, except when you are alone, doing the ten breaths.

Out in the world, just focus on your awareness and breath in the hara. Notice how it changes your awareness and perception of people. Don't change anything else in your behavior. Just notice what you notice:

What patterns of response/behavior do you notice in yourself? What patterns of response/behavior can you notice in yourself, BEFORE they actually get manifested in your behavior...can you catch some "auto-pilots" that are now just considerations that you can actually put aside? Don't try to MAKE this happen..just notice if it does?

What patterns of response/behavior do you notice in other people? What specifically do you notice about how they respond to authority/power and how they exert authority/power with others? Can you notice which of their behaviors are "auto-pilot" and which appear more freely chosen?

Anyway, I look forward to seeing you at Speed Life, and I can't wait to also introduce you to the "Super-Team" of other amazing trainers.

Peace and Piece,
RJ

P.S. In the event that you have NOT yet signed up for Speed Life... jeez...I don't know when or even IF I'll ever assemble this great a team of super-trainers again. You'd better call Yates NOW for more information: 1-580-366-5820. Or email him at yatescanipe@yahoo.com


This newsletter, and all of its contents are
copyright 2004, Ross Jeffries. However this
newsletter may be reprinted and re-used in
any format, without prior consent, provided
all content, including all links, are kept
intact, proper credit for authorship is given,
and the newsletter is given for free,
without charge.

Monday, February 28, 2011

Astonishing Use of Speed Seduction®!!

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

One of the very great joys for me in teaching this technology Is how my very best and brightest students will use it, NOT just for getting hot women, but in other areas of life.

When tools and ways of thinking work beyond a specific area, but can be adopted for many of life's challenges, you KNOW you are on to something.

So I got this email I HAD to share about how I guy took what he learned and used to control his fear in a VERY stressful situation.

Remember, as you read this, what I have said time and again:

YOUR STATE OF MIND IS CRUCIAL TO YOUR SUCCESS WITH WOMEN! LEARN TO CONTROL YOURSELF AND YOU WILL BE HALF-WAY HOME TO ATTRACTING THE HOTTEST WOMEN!



From: Chris Williams To:
sandworm77@comcast.net Subject: Letter from a very satisfied customer


Good morning Mr. Jeffries,

I just now got back from an amazing experience, and I wanted to thank you for your part in it.

I got home from the hospital a few hours ago after having our first baby. While it is true that I meet my wife using the tools I developed with the Basic SS Home Study course in 1999, that is not the reason I am writing.

I bought the Home Study Course last spring, and one of the many great things I learned from that was handling fear. My word when I have the feelings that I used to call fear is "texhad". This re-frames the sensations I have in body that I used to call feeling fear as being anticipation of a "thrilling, exciting adventure".

Texhad was the word that kept going through my mind as I was driving my wife to the hospital. When we arrived there, they had some challenging news for us. The baby already had her first bowel movement and had contaminated the amniotic fluid. In technical terms, the danger was that she would aspirate the merconium. This can be very serious. One of my good friend's son did this, and he was in the neo-natal intensive care for a week before they were sure he would live.

While my wife was crying when we heard this news, I discovered that I did not automatically react. Instead of immediately allowing my feelings to be effected by this news, I was able to get into a monitoring state and cause my response. I was able to choose that this was going to the adventure part of the day's "thrilling, exciting adventure", and I can honestly
say that I was never scared at any time.

Twenty-four hours later when our OB announced that my wife was exhausted after three hours of pushing and we had to go to the OR for a C-section, I turned down another chance to be scared. I was able to ride out the adventure, strongly support my wife without a trace of doubt of fear in my reactions, and at the end we were rewarded with a beautiful and perfectly healthy
baby girl.

The main thing I have learned from this is that the end result was almost certainly going to be the same either way. The only difference was going to be what sort of ride I took getting from the beginning to the end. I chose to have fun, and so I did.

I honestly thank you for that.

Your very grateful client,

Chris Williams


Dear Chris,

Now, what can you say when you get fan-mail like THAT? Except that being a leader; someone who is in control of HIMSELF, instead of obsessively trying to control women, is what REALLY attracts great women into your life AND makes you worthwhile being in theirs! That's a win-win for EVERYONE!

That's it for this issue.

Peace and piece,

Ross Jeffries

P.S. You can learn to have the same self-control, peace of mind, and natural leadership that makes you a great mate AND attract hot women! Just go to: http://www.speedseduction.net/products/rj87.asp


This newsletter, and all of its contents are
copyright 2004, Ross Jeffries. However this
newsletter may be reprinted and re-used in
any format, without prior consent, provided
all content, including all links, are kept
intact, proper credit for authorship is given,
and the newsletter is given for free,
without charge.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

How To *Lock In* Lasting Self-Confidence With Women!

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

Over the years, I've had a chance to look at what really
makes permanent, large, personal change possible. I've
watched thousands of guys use my methods to go very rapidly
from no confidence with women at all, to ease, power, grace
and fun with all the women they could possibly desire.

And one of the big things they had in common, in addition
to buying and using my products, is…

......Consistency!

They didn't just listen to my products once, or give it a
few tries.

No.

They immersed themselves in the material.

In fact, I've gotten many reports of guys going so far as
to have my, videos, cd's and tapes playing all the time in
every room of their house, apartment or hotel, no matter the
time of day, on multiple tape players, VHS's etc.

Other students (including some of my current top guys)
have said that they took long drives out of town, often
hundreds of miles each way, with the tapes or CD's playing the
entire trip.

Now, personally, I don't think I could stand listening to
my own voice that much!

But immersing yourself in the material, in fact, immersing
yourself when it comes to any truly new way of thinking and
feeling and acting, is probably…

.................A Damn Fine Idea!

Remember, one of my key rules for success and power with
women, which I've repeated over and over:

Use Your Language To Capture And Lead Her Imagination And
Emotions!

****************************************************
Advertisement

If you want incredible success with women, why not purchase
your Speed Seduction® Home Study Course today? Just go to:
http://www.speedseduction.net/products/rj87.asp

**********************************************************
Well, the same is true with changing yourself. You've got
to learn to capture and lead your own imagination and emotions
on a consistent basis to take you where you really want to
go! And then follow up with your external behavior, in the
real world, with women!

Anyway, yesterday I got an email from someone who brought
up this very issue. So let's here from this devoted
client/reader:


"Hey Ross, I know you probably get a million emails a day,
but I felt the need to take the time to thank you for the work
you've put in to Speed Seduction and the Unstoppable
Confidence series. I've only received SS 2 days ago, but just
by listening to your exercises on visualization and overcoming
fear and shyness, I can already tell it's having an effect on
the way I perceive myself.

If you happen to get through this and feel like replying,
I'm just wondering if it's normal to feel sort of...hollow, or
feel almost a blank emptiness after doing these exercises?
Seriously, after I listen and study for a while I feel like
I've completely erased a part of myself and it takes a little
getting used to but goes away after a while. Any idea what
I'm talking about, or am I just convincing myself that I
should feel different?

Again, thanks a million and I promise to study hard and
practice as often as I possibly can. :)

-Tim T. New Castle, PA "


Tim,

Thanks for the kind words. I personally love the
Unstoppable Confidence tapes. They are one of our all time
best sellers, and still, over a decade after I created them in
1994, they stand up as one of my finest products.

While it's great that only after 2 days you are already
noticing some good effects, bear in mind that it takes a while
for big changes to take hold and feel real.

That's not to say you aren't changing already. You are.
It just takes a while for new feelings, new thoughts and new
behaviors to "feel like the real you". Most studies show
that, in fact, the time period for new ways of thinking,
feeling and acting to "set" and feel "natural" is 21 days.

My suggestion is to keep on listening to the UC Tapes and
keep doing the exercises. It takes some consistent(but not
heroic or hard) effort to get change going. And for goodness
sakes, make sure you are a member of the Speed Seduction
on-line discussion group where you can get 24 hour support,
encouragement and ANSWERS to your questions! Yours for free
when you buy your Delux or Basic Home Study Course. Just click
here at:

http://www.speedseduction.net/products/rj87.asp

That's it for this issue. Keep practicing, keep capturing
imagination and emotion (your own and womens') and keep on
keeping on!

Peace and piece,

RJ

P.S. Your success with women is waiting for you. Just go to:
http://www.speedseduction.net/resources.asp

This newsletter, and all of its contents are
copyright 2004, Ross Jeffries. However this
newsletter may be reprinted and re-used in
any format, without prior consent, provided
all content, including all links, are kept
intact, proper credit for authorship is given,
and the newsletter is given for free,
without charge.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Three Students Share Shocking Seduction Success!

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

One of the great joys of doing this job is getting the
emails and testimonials from guys just like you who are using
my material to really turn their love lives around and
transform their success with women.

Now, the best ones are from students who are really just
trying things out for the first time, and interestingly
enough, even though they've read the newsletters, understood
the courses and material the first few times they try this
stuff ……

.........They Don't Even Believe It's Going To Work!

No, that wasn't a misprint or a typo. I said they don't
(as in do NOT) believe this stuff is going to work!

In fact, I have seen from my experience, time and time
again, when guys first try this stuff, they usually DON'T
believe in it precisely because it IS so different from the
way 99% of most guys have been taught to think, feel and act
around women.

A Key Understanding If You REALLY Want To Change!

You see, there is a huge paradox in creating real, massive
change, in any area of your life. Once you get this key
understanding, you will be on your way to massive success at
changing virtually anything (and not just with women), no
matter what system or method you might try. So pay attention,
and get this, because here it is it is:

The Methods For Success That Are Closest To What You Are
Already Doing Seem The Easiest To Try, But Offer the Least
Potential For Huge Change , Because They Are So Close To What
You Are Already Thinking, Acting, Believing And Doing!


What this comes down to, is the whole idea of "the comfort
zone". When you stay in your "comfort zone" and just do what
you are used to, it is pretty easy, yet doing what you are
used to (and thinking and believing as you have been used to)
is what has been keeping you stuck.

Thinking, believing and acting very differently can bring
you rapid and massive results, but it CAN at first feel
uncomfortable unless you have some special "technology" to get
you around that "difference".

Anyway, being able to try out brand new ways of doing
things, and to do so with a sense of enjoyment, exploration
and fun, instead of anxiety and fear, is one of the unique
technological breakthroughs that Speed Seduction® brings to
you, in addition to the actual material for meeting and
rapidly turning on women!

SS is the only system that has been offering these tested,
proven tools for self-transformation to men for the past
decade, and I am very proud of that!



So, that out of the way, let me share 2 recent emails from
you, from some happy and successful NEW students:



Ye Gods!

I have to share this with somebody, and I'm afraid you
guys are going to have to take the brunt of it...

I went out tonight on a field trip. I'd spent most [nay,
all...] of my free time over the last few weeks burying
myself in the Basic SS CDs & literature. I'm not ashamed to
admit that I've pranced around my apartment daily, like an
idiot, rehearsing patterns and "Doing the affirmations."

I went out tonight, met some friends in a noisy pub [not
the ideal environment, for sure...], but with the
single-minded determination to try this stuff out for real.

Cutting to the chase: I saw a slim, blonde HB surrounded
by drooling buffoons. Throwing caution to the wind [have you
ever tried doing that?], I dived on in. I caught her eye,
smiled, opened with a bit of low-key banter and she said:

"I am from Germany. My English, it's not very good..."

She was a foreign exchange student who'd only been in the
country for a few weeks.

Needless to say, my initial though was: "Jesus Christ on a
Pogo-Stick! Destiny has truly tied my shoelaces together!" But
within seconds I thought: "Fuggit - let's try this shit out,
anyhow..."

So I ran a variation of the Instantaneous Connection
pattern on her. I riffed in some embedded commands. And I
did it all very, very, very slowly. In that terrible mixed-up
syntax that English-speaking people invariably use when
talking to people from other countries. And you know what?
It worked an absolute treat!

We somehow ended up talking about German expletives.
After a few rubbishy attempts at getting my tongue around
[ahem!] the German equivalent of 'Son of a bitch' we moved
onto more fruity translations.

Let's just say, without prompting, she told me what the
German word for "c*nt" is - she made it clear that this wasn't
the 'biological' term, but the taboo variant. And she was
really determined that I got the pronunciation right...

Last orrders arrived, and -without so much as a hint of
supplication -I [slowly, with bad syntax] explained to her
that it was a tragic, shame that our conversation had to end,
and that it was an awful, awful shame that we can't go on
learning new things about each other's language. She reached
into her handbag, pulled out her mobile [cellphone] and
demanded that we exchange numbers...

I'm still in a state of shock. I can't get my hat on.

Must run! I urgently need to check out some
German-English translation sites...

Tomas G, City and state withheld, by request


Dear SS List Brothers,

Just wanted to say hi to everybody on the list & look
forward to a long and learning relationship,

I am new to this and have been applying the Twin Brothers
pattern Ross told us to try after the UK SS seminar this
September 2004,

The other day I used this pattern on a sexy Italian
manageress of a restaurant I had talked to her on a couple of
occasions before this evening, anyway while I was 1/2 way
through I couldn't believe her response, she chose the kisser
rather than someone who makes her laugh & then held my hand
and started to talk about how she felt during sex. I almost
fell of my chair, my colleague couldn't believe it either,
(he's coming to the next seminar) I left it there because I
was punch drunk with the response & delighted that it worked.

I have seen her again and have her number I will let you
know how I get on.

THANKS ROSS

Tim Cooke

London, England


Thanks Tomas and Tim!

Now, do you notice what each of these guys have in common?

Very simple: they had the balls to try something new and
different, without even being sure of the result.

They got the results, by stepping out of their comfort
zone!

So how about you, dear reader? How about you?


Til next time,



Peace and Piece,


Ross

P.S. Get results like these guys and better by getting
your Speed Seduction® Home Study course at:
http://www.speedseduction.net/products/rj87.asp

This newsletter, and all of its contents are
copyright 2004, Ross Jeffries. However this
newsletter may be reprinted and re-used in
any format, without prior consent, provided
all content, including all links, are kept
intact, proper credit for authorship is given,
and the newsletter is given for free,
without charge.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Wimps Into Winners: How To Pass A Woman's B.S. Tests And Win Her Over, Hard!

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

There's a common saying in street fighting that 95% of all
real fights wind up in a clinch and go to the ground. Could that
really be true? Frankly, I don't know. But I will say this: 95%
of the time, a woman will test you by the second date, or
sooner, to see:

1. If you'll take her bullshit.

2. How hungry you are for her attention (remember: those who
look hungry, never get fed)

3. Just how much control she can exert over you and/or the
relationship.

In this issue, I'd like to talk about how you can pass those
tests, and how to do some testing of your own. Believe me, this
is important. If you've ever been dumped for being "too nice",
or have been told, time and again, "let's just be friends", it's
because you haven't learned to recognize when you're being
tested or just haven't yet learned how to properly respond. You
thought you would get points for being "co-operative" and
"helpful", and instead you just got the fuzzy end of the
lollipop.

Why She Tests You: The Search For Strength And Certainty

Look: one of the primary things that women are looking for
from a man is security; the feeling that someone is stronger
than they are. When you put a woman in her place, when you set
rules and boundaries for her to follow, it lets her know she can
relax around you and feel comfortable and secure. This search
for strength is the single most important reason why she tests
you. The other factor is ambivalence, or what I call the "make
up my mind for me" syndrome.

You see, the sad reality is that often a woman just isn't
that interested in you one way or another. Maybe you aren't
exactly the physical type she goes for, maybe she just got
burned in a bad relationship, or there's some unseen competitor
who she's waiting to hear from. What ever her reasons, you can
tell this is happening when you hear something like, "Uh...well,
I'd like to go out with you Friday, but why don't you call me
late Friday afternoon and I'll let you know for sure?"

Finally, there is the fact that sometimes, modern women just
get overwhelmed with eighty billion things they are trying to do
at once. And, when overwhelmed, they flake on commitments that
occur during the peak of the overwhelm.

How To Handle It…Dealing From A Position Of Strength

To get back to street fighting analogies, there's a concept
from Jeet Kun Do, the fighting style of the late, great Bruce
Lee that basically says that any weapon thrust your way, as part
of an attack is just a convenient target to be destroyed. Coming
from this perspective, an attack, rather than something to be
feared, is just an unprecedented opportunity to.... KICK THE
OTHER GUY'S ASS!!!!

Just so, a woman's bullshit and tests are great
opportunities to establish respect and dramatically increase her
interest in you. In other words, your response to these tests,
instead of being, "Oh no.…why is she doing this? What did I do
wrong?", from now on will be.... AH, HAH! A RESPECT
OPPORTUNITY!!!

Look: your attitude has to be that every rude piece of
behavior, every silly test of hers is just an unprecedented
opportunity for you to establish respect, increase her interest,
and intensify her desire to please you. Taken from this
perspective, you'll be mentally prepared, and may even find
yourself actually looking forward to her trying to pull shit,
since you know it's your chance to get her really hot for
you!!!! Now, before we go on to some specific scenarios, let me
add one other thing: when you do put her in her place. ...

IT'S GOT TO COME FROM THE RIGHT PLACE IN YOU!!!

In other words, the macho idiot who loses control and
trashes the place when his girlfriend comes home ten minutes
late is definitely not the example to follow. All he's doing is
showing he can't control himself and he just earns the woman's
contempt. Notice I'm not saying you can't or shouldn't get a
little pissed. Just don't go nutso with a stream of obscenities.
(Streams of obscenities are for afterward, when you are in bed
with her.)

The other thing that doesn't work is acting like a hurt
little boy. Whining stuff like, "How could you do this to me?"
or, "But you promised!" won't cut it, good buddy. No. You have
to come from the calm, but firm "take it or leave it" position.
This is all part of displaying the critically important.........

WILLINGNESS TO WALK AWAY FROM HER!!!

You see, after years of experience and study, I've come to
the conclusion that a woman can only experience real passion for
you if on some level she believes she could do something to lose
you! Understand that when you show this willingness to walk
away, in any area of your life, it conveys the message that you
are the prize to be pursued, that you are the person of value,
and they had better take advantage of the opportunity. This is
an attitude that will move you forward in any area that's
challenging you.

By way of contrast, if you show a non-stop, forever and ever
devotion to her, and put up with her crap and ambivalence, then
where is that tension of knowing she could lose you? Answer:
nowhere! And that's why you get nowhere when you put up with
this kind of stuff! If you've seen an initially hot relationship
grow ice-cold, this is one big reason!!! Ok. On to some
scenarios.

Scenario one: You call to ask her out for the first time.
Her response is ambivalent, something like, "Well, I'd like to
but, why don't you call me later in the week and...." Here's
your response: "Let me ask you a question, point blank. Is going
out with me something you can take or leave or is it something
that you're smart enough that you really want to do that?" Then
shut the hell up and listen for her answer.

Now, what are you doing here? You're calling her on her
ambivalence and letting her know you don't have time to be put
on hold. And you're also suggesting she's stupid if she doesn't
grab this opportunity.

Finally, you're embedding a command (about which much more
later in other issues of this newsletter) that she really does
want to go out with you. Will this work? Very often it does.
It's not what she's expecting, and that always gets attention.
Just be as matter of fact and non-hostile as you can.
Understatement works best with this one. What if she still
hesitates? Well, say this one: You: Look. You have my number,
and I'm going to leave it up to you. And you know, if you don't
call it's going to be a loss for me, but maybe what you won't
realize until after you hang up is, that it'll be a loss for you
as well. Ok? Bye.

Scenario Two: She calls and cancels at the last minute
without offering to do it again at some specific time. (I've
heard every excuse in the book, my friend, from "My parakeet is
sick" to "I've got to shampoo the rug". Seriously)

Her: I can't make it. I've got a rare tropical disease
that's causing me to shrink by the hour.

You:(dead silence for as long as it takes for her to talk
again. Just say NOTHING!!!)

Her: Hello? Are you there? What's wrong?

You: What's wrong is I can't believe the bullshit I'm
hearing.

Her: What?????

You: Look...you made a commitment to spend time with me and
now you're blowing me off. You're disrespecting me and
disrespecting my time and I'm NOT going to put up with it. My
rule is, if someone makes a commitment to me, I expect them to
keep it. If they can't keep it, I need to know at least a day in
advance so I can make other plans. Got it? If you can live with
that rule, great...if not, sayonara!

Then, HANG UP!! Now, this may sound extreme, but man does it
work well!!! In fact, she'll probably call back with five
minutes and apologize and ask you out!!! I'm not kidding here;
I've seen the hardest, jaded bitches go to giggly little girls,
eager to please me when I've done this. It throws some kind of
switch in their heads. I guess with some people, you don't
really get their attention until...

You Give Them A Swift Kick In The Ass!!

Please note, I’m speaking of an attitude. I am NOT talking
about or in any way suggesting or condoning physical violence
with a woman. In fact, I am against the use or threat of the use
of violence or force against ANY human being, unless there is an
imminent threat of violence against yourself or a loved one. I
can’t make this too clear. I’m talking about using your mind,
NOT your fists.

Scenario Three: You go to pick her up at her place and she
either keeps you waiting outside for more than ten minutes, or
lets you in and then proceeds to talk on the phone for at least
that long while totally ignoring you. Wait for her to finish,
and as soon as she does say something like this:

YOU: Can I ask you a question?

HER: Sure.

YOU: Are you being intentionally rude to test me, or are you
just accidentally acting clueless?

HER:(mouth dropping open in shock, unable to say anything!)

YOU: Don't ever keep me waiting like this again, ok? I'll
always treat you respectfully, but I expect the same. Do you
understand me?

HER: Uh..uh...yes.


The point is this: when women throw this stuff your way, you
want to do the unexpected. Don’t put up with it, like a “nice
guy” and don’t lose your temper like a jerk. Walk a middle
ground of strength, self-control AND self-respect, and these
tests will become opportunities to power her straight into your
bed.

And that certainly beats a poke in the eye, doesn’t it?

‘Til next time,


Piece and peace

Ross

P.S. To order the amazing, life-changing, girl-getting Speed
Seduction(r) Home Study Course, just go to
http://www.speedseduction.net/products/rj87.asp

This newsletter, and all of its contents are copyright
2004, Ross Jeffries. However this newsletter may be
reprinted and re-used in any format, without prior
consent, provided all content, including all links,
are kept intact, proper credit for authorship is given, and the newsletter is given for free, without charge.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

7 Tips To Supercharge Your Speed Seduction® Success!

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

Part of learning any new technology is understanding some
basic principles. So here are some tips that I have found have
helped many clients with the initial Speed Seduction learning
curve. Remember, a huge part of Speed Seduction is learning to
use your language to...

Capture and Lead A Woman's Imagination and Emotions!

As I have taught again and again, whatever you can get a
person to imagine will be perceived by them to be their own
thought, and thus will not be resisted. Women especially like to
be led by their imagination and emotions! Then, and only then,
will they give you the behaviors (love, sex, etc) that you crave
and want. Remember, women want good feelings, and all of the
tools and language patterns in the Speed Seduction Home Study
course are geared toward either doing this or gathering the
information you need to do this.

Tip 1: The patterns are examples, NOT rules. Many students
think that unless they present the patterns to women, word for
word, that they won't work or get results. THIS IS JUST 100%
FALSE! The patterns are only examples..very GOOD examples..of
the kinds of communication that turn women on. They give you the
structure. But they aren't meant to be rigidly or exclusively
followed. Learn from them HOW they work, and you'll be able to
quickly create your own patterns.

Tip 2: Women enjoy the patterns, so forget about being
caught. So many beginning clients feel like they are doing
something wrong...a small minor crime like picking a pocket or
stealing a wrist-watch when they approach women to do the
patterns! Hey..the patterns are designed to make women feel
wonderful! At the very least you are brightening her day and
doing her a favor and at best turning her on unlike anyone else
ever has! So far from feeling bad, you ought to excited about
the gift you are giving her!

Tip 3: Practice the patterns out loud! The patterns are meant
to be SPOKEN, not read! You can't really master the tonality and
tempo unless you practice OUT LOUD! THIS STEP IS CRITICAL!

Tip 4: Take a little bit each day! Speed Seduction is like
learning a whole new language and a whole new way of thinking!
Be fair to yourself and master it all naturally as it comes!
Take your time and just do a little bit every day! You'll be
shocked at how much you master in just a few weeks time!

Tip 5: Pattern Flow Is Important! One of the most crucial
skills is knowing how to transition from one pattern to another!
In one letter, I explained how to make flash cards to quickly
learn how to flow from one pattern to the next! If you haven't
done that...DO IT NOW!

Tip 6: Understand The Conversational Set-ups! Patterns are
hard to use if you don't know how to introduce them and bring
them up in conversation! For each pattern you want to use you
ought to have at least two ways of bringing it up! I cover this
in several of the Newsletters, so if you haven't got them, all
the back issues are in the back of the workbook in the
Basic/Delux Home Study Course.

Tip 7: Practice Your Closing! So many guys have told me
they've run patterns but when it comes time to closing the
deal..they are stuck! Well, as I have said, if you want a
result, you've got to rehearse it! So prepare your closes in
advance so they flow from you naturally and without thought when
you need them! Along those lines, here are some EXCELLENT
closes:

Close #1: Why don't we continue this somewhere else and see
how much we can enjoy each others company?

Close #2: It's too bad you're not the type of person who can
imagine being together, feeling and doing all the things you
love to feel and do..for all the reasons that make sense to
you..but as you think about it just like that..doesn't it just
seem that spending some time together is something we have to
do?

Close #3: So..what steps would we have to take in order to
make sure we can talk again?

Close #4: I have an intuition..and I don't know if you can
imagine this as I describe it..that when we get a chance to talk
without time pressures or interruptions...we'll really enjoy
each others company..and I'm wondering if there's a number
where you feel comfortable having me call you.

Piece and Peace

Ross

P.S You can get your Speed Seduction® Home Study Course at:
http://www.speedseduction.net/products/rj87.asp

This newsletter, and all of its contents are copyright Ross Jeffries. However this newsletter may be reprinted and re-used in any format, without prior consent, provided all content, including all links, are kept intact, proper credit for authorship is given, and the newsletter is given for free, without charge.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

He Planned To Approach 100 Women!

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

Every once in a while I get such good emails from students,
there's nothing better I can do than to simply let THEM do the
talking.

What you are about to read comes from the special "Speed
Seduction®" customer forum; a list of nearly 2,000 people world
wide who have purchased a Speed Seduction® Home Study Course and
daily discuss their challenges, breakthroughs, questions and
experiments. I’m very proud of this resource I provide, because
it lets students not only talk with me, but with each other, and
having that community supporting your learning can be a big
boost of confidence.

With that in mind, here’s a student’s progress report he
posted on his plans to approached 100 women. Pay special
attention to his brilliant advice on overcoming the fear of
“failure”.

************************************************************
Dear Ross and seduction brothers,

From talking with the awesome brothers in the Boston area it
became obvious from their comments that the only way to get
better at walk-ups is to do a lot of them. So Eric suggested
this approach, which worked very well: choose a number of
walk-ups to do, and go with the EXPECTATION of getting shot
down.

That's somewhat paradoxical but that's what makes it work.
So I set my goal at a 100. I've already done 50, and this is the
half-time report.

It's been FANTASTIC (aside from getting enthusiastic phone
numbers from women who even have boyfriends and very positive
responses). Going with the expectation of let me get another one
on my list makes things a WHOLE LOT easier. There's no hurt, no
rejection, it's just another notch. "Here goes number 33."

INSTEAD of going with the goal of I am going to get this
many phone numbers, and feeling good/bad depending on the
outcome, go with the goal I'm just going to have fun getting
shot down this many times and learning. Then, it's piece of cake
to learn.

SET a concrete number of approaches you want, and do it. You
WILL be successful at doing that.

Basically, now, I feel comfortable approaching almost any
woman under any condition (the train, a coffee shop, etc.). It
really is a LEAP from where I was before.

My state is infinitely more solid... and while I can get
better with very attractive women, I lead with much greater
ease, I deal with most objections right away, and I'm able to
instill comfort/ease/trust almost instantaneously.

I can only imagine what will happen when I get to 100. But
I'm not worried about that... I just need to get 50 more under
my belt.

(Techniques That Helped Him Do It!)

Now here're a few techniques you may want to use: Talking
with other SSers: I cannot say enough about this. The Boston
team is great, and posting/reading up people's SS postings while
doing the above is both encouraging as well as enlightening. I
just want to thank the thoughtful people who post quality emails
... some of us really appreciate it.

Self-reward and -analysis: Always pat yourself in the back
after making an approach or every few approaches. It works. It
sounds funny but you feel better when you tell yourself 'good
job' and give yourself a pat in the back.

Every say 5 approaches analyze what you did... think how you
could have done it concretely better... and replay in your mind
how you'd have done it. DON'T analyze every time, do it every
say 5 times.

Women are random and if you analyze it each time you'll NOT
see the real pattern. No pun intended. :) But the exercise
(AGAIN) is not to get better, although you naturally will, but
just to get across the X number of getting shot-down.

Fear of failure and safety: Early on I sat down and asked
myself what in the world was holding me back from approaching
beautiful (physically, intellectually, spiritually) women and
making their lives sheer beauty, wonder, delight... and I
realized... it was just a simple fear of failing.

What if I make a fool out of myself? What if I fall on my
face? What if I just annoy her? Being someone who's successful
at a lot of things he's tried in life this was a BIG one.

But then after some thought I realized it was a paradox. THE
BIGGEST FAILURE IS TO FEAR FAILURE. If you fear failure, then
you're GUARANTEED to fail every time.

Think about it. Think about this for long enough and it'll
BLOW your mind AND any fear of failure you have out of the
water. DRILL on any such feelings with this paradox.

If you fear failure, YOU WILL FAIL EACH AND EVERY TIME. It's
a complete guarantee. So THAT FEAR IS ITSELF the BIGGEST
FAILURE.

Secondly, often we want to be 'safe.' But usually, safe from
what?? Safe from success, safe from learning how to move women
in ways that may astonish us. Do you want to be safe from
success? Really? Think about your whole life ... do you want to
be safe repeating that SAME pattern?

If these are issues for you, I'd try meditate on these two
ideas, after some breathing exercises, and you may find, like I
did, that meditation affecting your whole life timeline, going
to the deepest crevices of your being, and you will be
decontaminated from those thoughts in a couple hours or days.

Don't be surprised to see your whole physiology changing.
This is not just pattern language... my whole body felt it. Use
the titanium drill of the paradoxes to destroy those filthy
mental microbes.


Best regards, Stephen/Angelo

************************************************************


Ok. Ross here again. This student really got it when he
talked about the paradox of fearing failure actually being the
biggest guarantee of failure.

You see, as I have said before, it is the meaning you assign
to things that determines how you will feel about them. If you
assign the meaning that you MUST “succeed” with every beautiful
girl you see, you are going to drive yourself nuts with all
sorts of unneeded fear and stress.

When you assign the right meaning to things; that you are
just practicing and you are intending to fall on your face, just
to practice, suddenly it loses its importance and paradoxically,
you do a lot better with a lot less effort.

My own personal beliefs about meeting and seducing women
are, “Let’s go have some fun with her and find out what she’s
like” and “I will either get what I want or learn what I need to
in order to get what I want or even better next time”.

Try THOSE on for size, and see what happens to any fear of
approaching women.

‘Til next time.


Peace and piece,


Ross

P.S. Hey...you can jump start YOUR success with women and join our Speed Seduction® online community as well. Membership is free when you purchase your Speed Seduction® Home Study Course! Just go to http://www.speedseduction.net/products/rj87.asp

This newsletter, and all of its contents are copyright Ross Jeffries. However this newsletter may be reprinted and re-used in any format, without prior consent, provided all content, including all links, are kept intact, proper credit for authorship is given, and the newsletter is given for free, without charge.

Friday, December 10, 2010

How To Meet Women, Anytime, Anywhere, Part I

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

One of the most common questions I have gotten in my 11 years of teaching Speed Seduction® is: what are some good and easy ways to meet women?

Recently, someone sent me an email, where, among other things, he said, “I hate going to clubs and bars, and at 35 years old, I feel out of place in them anyway.”

Now, this is one of the most common questions I get. And it's good to see a guy up there in his 30's still pushing for what he really wants.

Personally, as a 45 year old geezer who is as close to ugly as you can get without getting your face banned by the FDA, I still go for and GET women in their mid 20's(occasionally I will pull a 21-22 year old) and I never set foot in clubs.

But clubs or not, there ARE master keys for a guy of any age, to be meeting women, anytime anywhere. And believe me, this skill IS important.

You see, so many guys who are fixated on one girl, convinced SHE is the woman of their dreams whom they must have would actually dump her in a heartbeat if they knew they could go out and meet 10 hot women that same day they were pining over their 'dream girl"(who probably isn't giving them any anyway).

Hey…I'm sorry if I seem flippant here. But the reality is, the skill of meeting women anytime, anywhere, is crucial to avoiding what I call..

Relationships By Default!

You see, it has long been a theory of mine that MOST men don’t really wind up with the woman they really want. For most men, "dating" is such a form of roll the dice/crap shoot/gambling that they usually wind up settling for the woman who accidentally was attracted to them instead of the woman or women they really want.

Does this sound familiar?

Hey-I'm sorry if this seems harsh to you, but I call 'em like I see 'em. (And wow, did this ever get me booed and even physically attacked when I used to spout it on talk shows way back in the early and mid 90's.

Anyway, enough rambling. What I'm about to introduce you to is light years ahead of anything else out there, primarily because IT DOES NOT RELY ON CANNED LINES.

Yes, lines can be useful. Yes, lines can work. And I'll even give you some that are actually quite good.

But the key to remember is, with any line, it is the ATTITUDE that will determine how well the line works.


The Incredible Power Of Attitudes And Approach Positions


Basically then, there are 4 different attitudes or "approach positions"

The first one I'd like to talk about is one of my very favorite, and I call it "the Blurt Out".

The Blurt Out pretty much is what it sounds like; you "blurt out" whatever is actually going through your mind when you first spot the lady who has your attention, without any "editing" on your part (Ok, here's an exception: if your first thought is, "Damn, I have to touch those breasts!" it's probably best NOT to blurt that out!!

What I like about the Blurt Out is that it is coming from a place of vulnerability and sincerity. It's almost like you are thinking out loud, so women tend to automatically react without suspicion and be much more open and friendly to your approach.

The Blurt Out also works because you are implying something about your confidence, without saying it. What you are implying is, "hey, I'm a sincere guy, with real guts. I'm telling you what I really think, and I'm putting my head on the chopping block and handing you the axe. Will you be a horrible person and a coward and chop my head off or will you be as cool as me and be open to talking?"

The Blurt Out tends to work best with women in motion; either women who are walking directly toward you or women with whom you are walking parallel/side to side.

Just as an example of the Blurt Out in action, I once met a very hot 24 year old Canadian chick. I was in a parking structure for a shopping mall. She was walking up the steps, as I was walking down.

As I passed her I blurted out exactly what I was thinking in that moment, which was, "Wow..you've got style to burn!" just as if I was thinking out loud. She turned around, walked back down the steps and SHE initiated the conversation and later invited me to go get a beer.

That's the key to this approach, again. Just blurt out whatever you are thinking when you see her. Even if your thoughts happen to be shy or fearful, express what you are thinking, as in, "I realized if I kept hesitating, I'd never get to meet you and I'd kick myself for a week. So I had to come up and say SOMETHING. I'm "Your Name Here"

Can you see how totally sincere and disarming this approach could be? Especially for very good looking women who keep having all sorts of bullshit thrown their way.

The Blurt Out Plus The Implied Compliment

With an implied compliment, you don't actually say that YOU think the woman in question is hot or stylish or beautiful. You just imply it by how you state it.

Here's an example: walking around an outdoor mall, I spotted a woman who just walked incredibly gracefully. So I walked beside her and said, "It's just that I really admire women who carry themselves with grace and power..so I had to say "Hi"."

See the implied compliment? I didn't say it directly, I implied it. I said I admired women with who carry themselves with grace and power. Since I was talking to her, that must mean I think that about her.

But HER mind had to fill in the blank and apply the compliment to herself. Since this was an ACTIVE process involving her own mind, it wasn't perceived as coming from an outsider, but rather something she herself thought. And so it goes in without resistance!

This is a sneaky way to communicate, but you'll learn a lot more about the power of implication to move the thoughts, imagination, and emotions of women in ways you can't yet dream possible!

Approach Position Two: Observation, Comment or Question

The second approach position or attitude is what I call the "observation, comment or question". You can combine these with a sense of humor or just do them straight up, and they work best in a setting where neither you or the woman is in motion, so you have some time to make your observation.

The biggest advantage with these is they are non-threatening and you don't have to rely on anything canned to fit the situation.

(By the way, when thinking of something to say, one of the key questions I'll ask myself is, "What can I notice, observe or intuit about this person that I can use to make a connection? A good way to send your mind in the right direction).

Observations, comments and questions of course depend on the situation ongoing, and I usually quickly follow them up with something funny, often a put-on(which is our third approach position or attitude, so we'll get there in a minute).

Real life example: I was in a gas station, filling up my car. The woman next to me was putting gas in her giant white Mercedes. I said, "How do you like your Mercedes?" (See..simple question!)

Her response, "I love it. How do you like your SAAB?"

Ok, she's answering back, so I know at least she's friendly. I said, "I like it."

Then I jumped right to a put-on, which is an easy thing to follow up any comment, observation or question.

I said, "It's too short."

She said, "What? The Mercedes. I think it's pretty long.

I said, "No, it's too short."

She said, "What is?"

I said,"Life…to hestitate…when you meet someone you think is incredibly attractive."

She smiled and said, "Thank you!"

I then playfully hit her on the shoulder and said, "I was talking about ME!"

This got MORE laughter and then names were exchanged, and shortly thereafter, phone numbers as well.

My point: observations, comments and questions can be followed up with almost anything and combined with almost anything.

A favorite question opener of mine actually combines a question with a compliment, as in, "Do you do a martial art? You carry yourself with discpline and elegance..it's a very rare and attractive trait."

By the way, when it comes to compliments to pick up women, I prefer to IMPLY them or combine them with a question and I prefer to strongly compliment a woman on how she moves or her "energy". For some reason these are lot more acceptable and less threatening and perceived as more sincere than direct comments
about her looks.

Approach Position 3: The Put-On

Now we come to my favorite "approach position" the put-on. The put-on is simply a humorous approach where you pretend something to get her attention. For example, if a woman is walking in my direction and is wearing a t-shirt with a logo or design, I will look confused, point at the shirt and say, "I don't get it".

Usually, the response is, "Don't get what?" To which I always say, "The shirt. What's it mean?"

At this point, I almost always get an explanation from her about the logo or symbol, to which my response is to pretend to disagree and argue in the most ridiculous way.

Example: sitting in a yogurt shop, a young lady with very large breasts walked in. She was wearing a tight t-shirt with a slogan that said, "Free the Afghans"!.

I pretended that I thought the shirt was about Afghan DOGS. You know..the shaggy haired, long-legged dogs you sometimes see accompanying models in photo shoots?

I said, "who is holding a bunch of dogs captive? Why do you want to free them? Do you want more dogs to be strays?"

She tried explaining, and I kept misunderstanding. Then I made a joke about being so good looking I didn't need to be smart. Then I introduced myself.

If you want a good idea of the overall attitude for this approach, think of Bugs Bunny. Or Groucho Marx. Or Leslie Nielsen from the "Police Squad" movies.

One more example of a put-on approach. I was sitting in a local café and seated behind me was a very attractive young Asian woman. I observed that she was thinking very hard, talking to herself, trying to figure out her economics book.

So I turned to her and said, as seriously as could, "Could I ask you not to think too loud? You look like a loud thinker, and I have very important writing to do."

My friend, who was sitting across from me said she couldn't stop looking at me after that and could not go back to studying! I turned to her a minute later and said, "Look…I asked you nicely not to think so loud! Don't make me call the management!"

At that point, SHE began a conversation.

There are many, many ways to enjoy a put on. And you can combine it with an observation as in this last example; my observation about this girl was that she really was, "thinking loud"-she was having trouble trying to figure out what she was reading and so she WAS talking to herself, internally, in her head, which is a way of "thinking loud".

Approach Position #4: Genuine Intuition

The final approach position is what I would call a genuine intuition. This is more rare and harder to do. But did you ever find yourself just looking at someone and you just KNEW that person? Like something deep inside you connected with something deep inside them and you just KNEW them?

In this case, when this happens, go with your intuition and tell them what you observe. It's close to an observation, but the difference with this position is, it really isn't something you could pick up with your physical 5 senses.

This is advanced stuff that will come in time, so I wouldn't worry about it for now. But as an example, I was once sitting in my favorite coffee place. As this beautiful blonde woman walked in the door, I saw an image of her on stage, singing. So as she walked by I just said, "How long have you been a singer?"

It totally blew her away. And a long conversation followed. So if you have a strong intuition, just run with it and give it a shot. It's a bit risky, but when it works it has an incredible impact.

Ok. That's it for this issue. Next we'll continue to take up this thread and tell you more great ways to meet women, anytime, anywhere. Until then,

Peace and piece,


Ross

P.S. Want real success and power with the women of your choice, instead of the women you have to settle for? Your Speed Seduction® Home Study Course is waiting for you! Just go to
http://www.speedseduction.net/products/rj87.asp today!

This newsletter, and all of its contents are copyright Ross Jeffries. However this newsletter may be reprinted and re-used in any format, without prior consent, provided all content, including all links, are kept intact, proper credit for authorship is given, and the newsletter is given for free, without charge.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Understanding Assertiveness

To understand assertiveness let's start with common causes for nonassertiveness:

FEAR: of displeasing or hurting others or of being rejected or of making mistakes. Nonassertive people are often oversensitive to other people's feelings. They are afraid that disagreement will be misinterpreted as dislike for the other person.

FALSE BELIEFS: that they are unworthy or that they do not have any rights. These people think that if they assert their rights they are being self-centered, or that others' opinion are more valid.

LACK OF SKILLS: Some people never learned how to be assertive or were discouraged from being assertive as children.
Let's continue with some common causes of aggression:

INSECURITY: those feelings of powerlessness. Aggressive people often feel threatened and react strongly thinking they must protect themselves.

RELUCTANCE: to give up the perceived benefits of aggression. Some aggressive behavior make work in the short run because it intimidates other people. In the long run, however, the aggression gains only resentment ... not respect ... from others.

INEXPERIENCE: in expressing needs and feelings in any other way. Aggression can become second nature in some people.

AND PEOPLE can and do CHANGE the way they act ... CHANGING YOUR BEHAVIOR is really up to you! Nonassertive or aggressive actions often are the easiest and result when you put too much pressure on yourself, blowing things out of proportion. Learn to think calmly and rationally.

DEVELOP A POSITIVE ATTITUDE that says: It's OK to make mistakes. No one's perfect. I can say "NO" when I need to. I would like to be good at this and if I am not that is OK. I would like it if he went out with me and if he doesn't , that is OK. Asking questions does not make me look stupid and it is the best way to get the information I need. Just because I see it this way does not mean everybody else should agree. If I stand up for myself now and say what I really feel, it will be better in the long run.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

About Assertiveness

What is assertiveness? It is speaking your mind and allowing others to do the same. Assertive people:

Say what they think, feel and want. Assertive people understand that they have the right to express themselves. Speak directly, honestly and tactfully - without excuses, apologies or "beating around the bush" Respect others' rights as well. An assertive person doesn't try to intimidate. There is a big yet subtle difference between assertive, nonassertive and aggressive. Be ASSERTIVE and notice the difference.

Because being assertive has many benefits. Have you ever wished you could:

Speak your mind clearly and effectively?

Say "NO" without feeling guilty?

Feel better about yourself?

Improve your relationships with others?

Disagree without seeming hostile?

Feel in control of your life?

Ask for assistance when you choose?

Get respect from THOSE others?

START by evaluating your behavior.

Take out a piece of paper and start writing. Think about how you interact with your family, friends, and business associates. Answer the following questions and notice how you feel and discover if you are Assertive, Nonassertive or Aggressive.

ASSERTIVE

* Are you confident without being overbearing?

* Are you proud when you do something well?

* Do you say what you feel without being hostile to others?

* Can you resist peer pressure?

* Can you give and receive compliments gracefully?

* Do you respect yourself?

NONASSERTIVE

1. Are you afraid that others will not like you if you disagree with them?

2. Do you remain silent when something bothers you?

3. Do you feel guilty when you say "no" to a friend, relative or salesperson?

4. Is it difficult for you to give or receive criticism?

5. Are you reluctant to ask for assistance?

AGGRESSIVE

A. Do you demand rather than ask?

B. Are you verbally or physically abusive?

C. Do you feel angry when others disagree with you?

D. Do you explode when someone criticizes you?

E. Do you feel that you have to win, that to compromise is to loose?

Tune in tomorrow to find out what causes each of the above and the clues to moving from one to the other as you CHOOSE.