Thursday, April 23, 2009

Is She Playing Games?

Here is the situation. Tony is 53 and looks 35 to 40. He works out several nights a week at the local health club. A younger woman shows up and starts working out. She is sharp in Tony’s eyes. He notices that she is a novice and could use some assistance. No one else in the club approaches or offers assistance. So Tony does. Suddenly, she is friendly so appreciative of the work out advice that she offers to take Tony to dinner as a token of her appreciation. He gets to choose the place.

During their workouts she shares that she is not married and never has been. She also states that she has a trust issue and that there was this one man who stalked her. She also stated that she has never been in love.

This goes on for about two weeks. No dinner. However they do seem to know each others schedule for the work outs. Then one night as they are walking across the parking lot to their cars another car shows up with a guy in it. She goes over to talk to the guy as Tony leaves.

The next time they see each other at the club she informs him that he does not have to stay until she leaves. He wasn’t planning to stay and leaves as planned.

Now suddenly, men are coming up to him in the club and wanting to know what is going on. Are they an item or what? Women are approaching him wanting to know the same thing. These are people who have been members for a while as Tony has, however they have never approached him.

The young lady now does not want to workout with Tony. She will take to him. He asked about the guy in the car in the parking lot. Oh, he just a guy I met in the sporting goods store last week.

So what is going on? Is she playing a game or not? There are inconsistencies in her statements. Tony wants to know what to do. First, she is playing some kind of game. Tony is there to work out and should stay focused on that as he always has. I told him to ask more questions as the opportunity arises and expect nothing except to find out her map of the world. For Example ask, “How do you know when you can trust someone” or “How do you identify a stalker” or “I am ready for that dinner and thank you for offering. Can we go to Jason’s Deli” or “How will you know when you fall in Love.”